Internets and Swords
by ameo66
Summary: AU Tashi-Zoro::So many accounts, and so many people...or is it the same person? This fic consists of Zoro getting lost, Sanji being a sex addict, and lurkers being everywhere...


**This randomly came to mind, I thought it was quite amusing. Just a nice looong AU one-shot.**

**Enjoy!**

**I don't know if there is a translation that would be 'I'mma' but I am using it for thrills.**

"AH! FUCKING SHIT, I LOST!" was called out for the second time that week.

The blond man sat in the kitchen, listening to the rainbow of cursing from the man in the next room. He released a stream of smoke from the side of his lips, wondering when he was going get his wonderful and amazing sex back. Probably not till Mr. I-suck-at-eBay wins something.

"I miss sex..." He mumbles to himself, noting the sounds of the office chair being thrown again. "I guess I shouldn't have taught the man how to use eBay, but I'll be damned for not wanting him to waste _my_ gas money going half-way across the fucking country for a sword shop in Kyoto. Why couldn't he be normal? Take a damn train. He's so paranoid. Just because he can't have his katana, he doesn't want any thing to do with public transportation."

Said man stomped through their apartment, making his way to the kitchen. He sat at the counter, and stared into the eyes of the other man. "Sanji, it's the same person. They keep winning the sword before me."

"I'm sorry, all I can say is save more money and bid higher and faster." He tipped the cigarette into the ashtray, tapping the ashes off the tip. "Can we please have sex?"

"No, I'm too angry at this person." A light tinkle was heard from his earrings, him having turned his face away from Sanji rather quickly. He stood after a moment, and returned to the office.

"Zoro...you're such a brat." Sanji dryly commented, closing his eyes to pretend he was getting what he wanted.

Zoro briskly typed on the keyboard, finally having gotten better at it after all the practice Sanji had invoked, complaining about his loss again to his favorite forum.

He had stumbled across it in his searching for swords, and anything that could inform him about them. It was a forum all about people loving swords and he had to be a part of it. For as big a forum as it was, he was surprisingly able to navigate it well enough, and could have a post found in about every section of the site.

He clicked his way to 'Recommendations', where he could see if he could find a good shop locally.

IFightWith3: I live in Osaka, and I'm look'n for a good shop. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I keep losing to someone on eBay named Iwantyourmeitou.

Zoro tapped the desk lightly, waiting for a response. He refreshed the page a minute later impatiently, surprised to have gotten a response so quickly.

SexySwordswoman: Ha ha, you live in Osaka? I would have never have _guessed_. -cough cough slang cough- Well, I can definitely verify that there is an excellent place here in Kyoto. Some really interesting stuff in Brook's Fine Swords. And he has a gallery in the back room that you can view.

A grin fell onto his lips. 'SexySwordswoman' and him have crossed paths many times in this forum. Mostly in what he thought were the best arguments, but he had personally grown to like the woman. She constantly helped him in all sorts of cases of mysterious swords and such. Though they had never gotten a chance to talk outside of the forums, what they did talk about in the forums often lead others on.

HummingSwordsman: Ah darling, advertising my shop, eh? You should come by again too. Need to pick up Shigure from his sharpening.

IFightWith3: Then I think I'm going to make my way up there. I'll just steal the cook's car again.

SexySwordswoman: lol, perhaps. Santoryuu, make sure you follow your map quest instructions. As funny as it was reading about you getting lost in Tokyo looking for a McDonald's 4 blocks away from your hotel, it was also a little sad.

IFightWith3: I told you not speak of that.

Zoro slouched out of his chair, and turned off the monitor. He tapped a random pencil against the desk, thinking about what to do. '_It is only 13:00, maybe I could go this afternoon._' He got out of the chair, and headed back to the kitchen, noticing the aroma of peanut dip for the satay that Sanji was making for their late lunch.

Upon sitting at the counter, a plate appeared in front of him, and a grinning cook. "Please?" He asked.

"You are such a horn dog ero-cook. Go get a woman from your restaurant." Zoro proposed, not desiring to please the man. "Can I borrow the car? I want to go to another shop in Kyoto."

"So you can drive half-way to Tokyo before you realize that you took a wrong turn? I don't think so. You make a simple 30 minute drive into a 4 hour marathon around Japan."

"I'll take the car anyway." He pushed his plate to the side, and headed over to the counter to grab the unprotected keys. "Sex tonight?"

"Oh fine." Sanji sighed, eating his meal once again. Even though he would probably have to walk to work, sex in return was quite lovely. The cook released a sigh realizing that Zoro grabbed the white sheathed blade that usually sat by the door.

Zoro trotted down the stairwell, not bothering to wait for an elevator. He waved to the doorman (who had indeed stopped thinking it was bizarre that he carried a katana), and found the royal blue El Camino that belonged to the cook. He got into the car, and pushed in the key and started the car. Pulling out the instructions, he tapped the wheel.

"So I'm going...north west...wait no, that's east." After several minutes of staring at the squiggles of roads on the map, he finally figured out how to get to where he was going. For as long as he could remember, he was never able to find anything. He was always the kid that always ended up lost on a field trip if your eyes left him for even a second.

After only three wrong turns, and 20 minutes of detour, he did in fact arrive at _a_ sword shop. Just not the right one.

Zoro got out of the car and shrugged. "Swords are swords, I can only hope for the best."

He approached the thin door reading 'OPEN', and stepped through, a chime tinkling in his presence. An extensive collection of one-of-a-kind swords lined the wall, many he was actually rather familiar with. Katana and tsurugi lined the walls; along side Celtic styled swords, naginatas, and various double wielding weapons. Zoro's eyes lingered at the man sitting behind the counter, giving a slight grin.

"Welcome to Bounty's Swords. I'm Johnny." He held out his hand for shaking, and Zoro accepted it. "Are you looking for anything?"

"Something I can't have online...damn eBay."

"You keep losing? Too bad, I'll have to admit, I'm not very good at it either. I leave all that to Yosaku." Johnny laughed, leaning back in his chair. "What type of blade do you want?"

"I prefer katanas." Zoro looked over the wall that held the blades. He traced the design with his fingers on the hilt of his own blade. His eyes flickered to notice the presence of someone else in the shop. The slight glint of blue hair caught his attention, but his eyes went back to focusing at the wall in front of him. Beautifully shining blades peeked from almost all of the sheathes, each having its own unique flare to it.

Steel blue flame like figures caught his eye, his hands automatically went to the blade. Slender fingers were also on the blade causing him to look over and see whom it could be.

"Oh uh, sorry." A woman's voice fluttered, retrieving her hand back. He looked back at her, not quite expecting to meet such a familiar face.

"Kuina..." He whispered almost silently. He could not drag his eyes away from her face.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, "You aren't thinking a woman like me should not be in a weaponry shop are you?"

"Uh, no. I uh, nothing." Zoro turned back to the sword and lifted it off its perch. He drew the blade out fully, examining every aspect of its shape. It felt that there was almost a calling in this sword.

"Would you like to try it out?" A voice asked. Zoro's earrings clinked to him turning to see Johnny in the back room's doorway, standing next to whom he assumed was Yosaku. "Come back here." He motioned, turning through the doorway.

Zoro followed, hearing the woman's steps behind him. "Are you guys crazy? That's Sandai Kitetsu! Every collector knows that the Kitetsu are cursed!"

"I'm not a collector." Zoro rolled his eyes at the woman. He followed the two men to the back. The small hall way revealed a large room, the floor covered in a tatami mat, and the walls were an off-white color. It was an over all dojo appearance. Yosaku and Johnny leaned against the wall near a phone watching Zoro approach the center of the room. The woman sheepishly peered in the room, meeting Yosaku's eyes.

"Shoo away Tashi, you always mess up our business deals."

"I will not, you guys are insane for letting him even draw the blade." She hissed, watching Zoro too.

Zoro drew the blade in a slow but fluid motion. His body took hold of a stance, holding out the sword. He cut the air before him, a slight 'whoosh' sound reaching their ears across the room. They gazed in awe at his capability to be a swordsman.

Tashi caught a glare from Johnny. "Alright, so he has potential. But the sword is cursed, how could you do that to a customer?"

"I think you want this blade." Zoro shot a rather cocky grin at her.

Her mouth was slightly agape at his comment. She caught what dignity she had left and glared at him. "Why would I want it? I collect Oowaza-mono and Meitou."

"But aren't Shoudai and Nidai both Oowaza-mono?" Yosaku made evident, raising a brow towards her general direction.

"Having Sandai would make it a set." Johnny pointed out.

She was speechless at their assessments, and decided not to look at the two of them any longer. Zoro gave her a grin of satisfaction. She gave him a skeptical look. He stared into her eyes, looking past her appearance and similarities of his past-away friend. "I'll buy it."

"What? You're really going to buy it?" Everyone in the room asked simultaneously.

"It'll be my little 'problem child', nothing I can't handle." He grinned at the men. "So, how much?"

"Take it." Johnny almost commanded Zoro.

"Johnny, don't give away our swords! What have I told you about that!?" Yosaku complained. He hit Johnny up the head momentarily.

"Come on, don't you feel guilty trying to sell a cursed sword? She's right about that."

"Okay, alright. Take it, but next time he has to buy."

"Alright, I'll buy the next time." Zoro chuckled at bickering men, and sheathed the Sandai Kitetsu. He left the room, brushing against the woman who blocked the doorway. A distinct 'hmph' sound was heard from her as she turned to watch him walk to the door to leave the store.

"What are you looking at?" He asked, noticing her eyes boring into him. He turned and looked at her. She held her hands on her hips in a rather sassy style, and her red rimmed glasses lay atop her head.

"I'm Shoi Tashigi."

"Roronoa Zoro." He replied, the door closing, and the chimes tinkled again, signaling his exiting.

nomnomnom

Tashigi furiously typed on her keyboard, searching on the internet for information. She knew she had heard the name before, but it just wasn't connecting. "Where do I know a freaking Roronoa Zoro!? There can't be too many of them!" She had searched each of her most helpful sites thoroughly, and still could find no trace of him. She had started her investigation immediately upon arriving home, and it was 18:00.

"Perhaps Smoker will help me. I'll just tell him I thought he was suspicious or something." Smoker was Policeman that was a close friend of the family, and she bothered him quite often. "Later."

She got up from her office chair and shuffled around the apartment, trying to remember where placed her glasses. A tiny blur of red caught her attention and she put them on. Tashigi walked into the her practice room, gazing up at her collection. It always made her smile to look up at the meitou on her wall.

"That Roronoa man carried a katana around like it was the 1500's. I can't believe I didn't get a look at it!" She sighed. "I know what I can do to preoccupy myself..."

She walked back to her office and sat at the office chair opening her favorite site. She clicked to the 'General Discussion' area of the forum. She skimmed the topic and found nothing particularly interesting. A new topic popped up suddenly that was labeled 'I got lost again'. She snickered at it and clicked, already knowing whom it was.

IFightWith3: So I followed Sexy's suggestion from earlier to go to Kyoto for a sword shop. And I never got there. I did find another shop wherever I ended up in, but other than that, I was lost for 2 hours getting home. I ended up with an interesting blade, but nothing special.

Tashigi burst into laughter at the story.

SexySwordswoman: Santoryuu-kun, that's really sad. But at least your day turned out fruitful. I decided to go out to a shop outside of Kyoto and that was a disaster. I found a Kitetsu in some shoddy little shop and some rude punk grabbed the blade before me! And since I opened my mouth and said it was cursed, when he decided to buy the blade, Johnny gave it to him for FREE. It was so lame!

She always liked venting in the forums, and IFightWith3 always made it amusing.

SquareMan: Ha ha, sucks to be you. Santoryuu, my man, you need to learn how to read a map. And remember, I'll defeat you next time me and you duel. That is if you can make to the location first, ROFL.

IFightWith3: Fuck you Square.

SquareMan: You've heard of GPS, right?

IFightWith3: Sexy, you gotta be more assertive. I'm sure you could have taken the guy, he probably couldn't even support the sword.

She sighed at his post.

SexySwordswoman: I wish! The guy had an incredible build. He may have been one cocky rude jerk, but he was very...incredible. He swung the Sandai in the back room, and it was the most fluid motion I've seen in quite awhile. Even his green hair was befitting for him.

IFightWith3: o rly?

HummingSwordsman: Ah, sounds like some1 has a little crush!

SquareMan: Sexy, don't say any more! Santoryuu might get jealous!

Tashigi rolled her eyes at their comments back to her. "I guess I got a little carried away in my description."

SexySwordswoman: Oh shut up. Like we've said a million times, there is nothing between us! I'm going to eat and sleep, chat you all tomorrow!

She walked away from the computer to the kitchen to eat. Upon opening the fridge, it seemed Hina had been over recently due to the new stock of readied meals in her fridge. She pulled one out and heated it up the microwave.

After her meal she showered and checked her computer for any messages before turning to bed. She opened a new message from IFightWith3.

_Hey, just wanted to thank you for your tip. Even though I didn't make to the right place, I did have an interesting day. Don't stay too mad at Hummer and Square, they mean well._

_Good night._

A blushed spread underneath her glasses.

"Oh you. Why can't every man be that sweet?"

omnomnomnom back

A grin was spread straight across Zoro's lips. He re-read the post over, just to make sure he was reading it right.

"So Shoi-san is Sexy Swordswoman? I would have never guessed. Well maybe, now that I think about it for a moment. Oh this is just too funny." He laughed to himself. "I could really make her life hard for a bit. At least it would entertain me."

He message SquareMan, his friend Kaku to not say anything about the man in the shop being him. He quickly got a response.

_You gotta promise to abuse everything about this situation. This is too funny. I can't believe you actually found her of all people in that sword shop. Though it fits, seeing that every time she gets on it starts 'I was in this shop...' She must really be a hardcore collector._

Zoro returned to the topic and read Kaku's post following hers. "That bastard!" Zoro mumbled, replying to Kaku's commenting. A moment later Kaku posted again. "GPS, what's that?" Zoro put GPS searching in the back of his mind. "Time to start abusing knowledge." Zoro posted for the third time, seeing if she could find out more of what she thought.

After two minutes and four page refreshes, his jaw dropped after reading her response. "I'm incredible now? And she likes my green hair? Even my lover makes fun of it." He quickly made a short response of 'o rly'.

"What about me marimo?" Sanji called from the door way. "And where's my sex."

"You have work in ten minutes. Later if I'm not asleep." Sanji went to his room to get ready, muttering 'shitting swordsman' and 'marimo'.

"Ero-cook, you really need to get a girlfriend, I can't give you sex when ever you want. Stop sulking because Nami left you for Luffy. It happens."

He received no comment back, and turned to the screen once again. Kaku and Hummer were harassing Shoi as usual. She had also decided to say good night. "I'll leave her a message." He typed a small message to her and turned the computer off.

He heard an off-handed good-bye and the front door shut. He got up from the office chair and walked to the end of the hallway where there training room was. That was the only thing they could ever agree on when it came to the apartment.

Sanji and Zoro became friends in high school. They were introduced from Luffy, along with every other person he had gotten to know in high school. Luffy, Nami, Sanji, and Kaku were all of his friends from then. He still saw them all fairly often, though Kaku the least. About every month though, they made sure to see each other to sword fight. Kaku and Zoro were in kendo club together and had both turned it into profession when they got out of school. Zoro had sponsors of all sorts and that made his income. Taking down people who thought that they knew what they were doing.

Zoro closed his eyes while unsheathing both of his blades. Wadou Ichimonji was a gift from his first love back in high school. She had been at the top of the club and was completely unbeatable. She had passed away in an accident at school, having fallen down the stairwell. The second blade was his newest acquirement from today's activities.

Not that he didn't have a wall full of blades, these were just the more interesting ones.

He commenced his practicing of form, swinging the blades through the air efficiently. The apartment lay silent other than the controlled breathing and the whispering swishes of the blades. After several minutes he put the blades away and followed the hall to kitchen for water.

"That damn woman is still on my mind."

wakawakawakawaka

Tashigi was awoken with a sudden body jerk. She opened her eyes realizing it was a self invoked action. "Well, that was this week's winner for weird dream." She closed her eyes again laying in her bed numbly, recollecting the dream. The green haired man from yesterday afternoon had flooded her mind. They were dueling in her dream, and he was fighting with three blades for some reason.

"Where do I know you Roronoa Zoro?" She sighed, sitting up in her bed, pushing the covers off of her body. Her feet touched the carpet, toes curling in the slightly chilled air. Her feet carried her to the bath room, then to the kitchen for a small breakfast. "I really need some human interaction if one man is driving me nuts."

Carrying her bowl of cereal to the computer screen, she checked her mail on all of her sites. When she got to the forum, she wanted to die.

To: SexySwordswoman

From: SandaiKitetsu

Subject: Hi

Tashi, you are quite easy to find on the internet.

Grinningly yours,

Roronoa

Reading the last line, she was in fact very ready to throw her chair and flip tables. "That-that-that--FIEND!" She had never felt so frustrated in her entire life. This guy was rubbing it in her face that he gotten what she _wanted_. That jerk! That meany! There weren't enough words to describe what she was feeling.

She did the first thing that came to mind.

To: IFightWith3

From: SexySwordswoman

Subject: HELP!

The green haired man from the sword shop found me!

He's taunting me!

With her heart pounding, and her pulse racing she breathed heavily. "Oh my God, what if this guy becomes a stalker or something! I can't handle that! This is exactly why I don't go out so often." She refreshed her inbox to see if Santoryuu replied.

To: SexySwordswoman

From: IFightWith3

Subject: Calm down

you'll live. The guy is just being a jerk.

Did you respond? If not, just tell if to leave you alone.

And don't avoid the forums like you did the last time you freaked out over something like this.

Square and Hummer will bother me D:

If it comes down to it, I'll beat'em up for ya

She giggled at his response. "Oh jeez. Why do I have a crush on a man on the Internet? That only lives an hour away..." She sighed and opened her inbox again. Another message from SandaiKitetsu sat on her screen.

_So you think I'm incredible?_

She stared incredulously at the line. Oh, how she desired to erase the statement she had made last night. This was mind-boggling.

_So, why have you taken the time to stalk me?_

Hey, wouldn't you ask the same thing? She sent the message and closed her eyes, wishing for the man to just disappear. She entered the forums and skimmed the topics like usual. Her eyes landed on a familiar name in the response column despite the topic.

SquareMan: So, what is everyone doing today?

IFightWith3: I'mma make another try at finding the Hummer's store in Kyoto.

SquareMan: as if you'll actually find it.

IFightWith3: I'll get there; I have to.

She grinned at his determination.

SexySwordswoman: I have to go by there too. I have pick up my darling _Shigure_.

IFightWith3: You and your meitou, it's ridiculous. And I have a meitou you will never have, ha ha ha!

SexySwordswoman: Noooooooo! D: And which one might it be?

"Not fair! I want them all!" She pouted to herself.

IFightWith3: Wadou Ichimonji :)

SquareMan: Ah yes, the glorious gift from Kuina. Man I miss that girl

IFightWith3: Same here man, same here.

SexySwordswoman: Alright, I won't seize it from you.

IFightWith3: My ero-cook is demanding the computer. I'mma head out. Ja ne!

_SquareMan_: Ja ne

She shrugged and sent a 'Ja ne' also, and rolled around in her chair. She clicked on her inbox, surprised to see two messages instead of one.

To: SexySwordswoman

From: IFightWith3

Subject: ha ha

Perhaps if I don't get lost and end up at the wrong shop, I shall see you?

Don't tell me anything, I want to guess.

Tashigi suddenly felt her heart flutter at his message. "See you?" Not quite sure what to think, she closed to her eyes and tried to imagine what he might look like. They had never exchanged pictures, but they did names. "Oh! What's his name? I can't believe I don't remember! Too bad they clean out the topics every month."

She looked at the calendar and then looked out her window. The light outside was an obvious over cast, and the cold was nearly visible. It was just tipping into winter, and scarf and legwarmers was a girl's best friend. "I think I'mma bathe...I'mma? Damn that Osakan slang."

Slinking out of her clothes, she turned the water to a nice warm temperature, indulging in the bliss. All the stress that had suddenly built up in morning was released. She hummed to herself, decided to pamper and beautify herself for no reason at all. Of course it had nothing to do with the man that could possibly be coming to Kyoto.

After a thirty or so minute soak and scrub, she walked around her small apartment in a towel, thinking about what to wear. The message on the screen caught her attention. "I ignored it earlier, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to check it...Roronoa."

_You seemed interesting_.

She huffed at his statement. She typed back a reply asking him not to bother her, and walked out of the office to dress her self. Swinging the closet door open, she gazed at the rainbow of colors in her tiny space. She giggled liking the idea of a skirt. After terribly difficult decision on what to wear, she grabbed her car keys, and left her apartment wearing a rather fluffy orange and pink outfit; legwarmers, puffy jacket, and such.

"Won't I look misleading in a sword shop?" She giggled to herself opening her car door, thinking about possibly seeing _him._

After a ten-minute drive through traffic, she ended up at the shop. She almost skipped to the door of the shop. '_I feel ridiculous._' She smiled at Brook, whom was a rather severely slender older man with the most ridiculous black Afro. He was always wearing a rather unusually color coordinated suit, but it was simply befitting to his style. He grinned back at her as she entered the shop.

"Tashi-chan, lovely as always, but especially today." He bowed politely to her, grasping her hand and lightly kissing it. "May I see your panties?"

Her fist immediately made contact with his face, and she just shrugged, and looked around, not noticing anyone else in the shop other than someone wearing a hat that had his back to customers.

"So _Shigure_ is ready for me, is he not?" She inquired, noting the rack next to her that had katana blades.

"Yes, of course Tashi-chan." He bent down to go through the stuff underneath the cabinet, and retrieved the blade. He set it on the cabinet surface, presenting it to her to view. "And no, I have not gotten any new meitou since your last visit. I still only have the ones in the back room that are not for sale…unless you want to take me up on the previous offer?" He winked, dodging her swipe for his hair.

"Well, I have nothing waiting for me at home, I guess I shall hang out here for a bit." She sat in the chair that was off to the wall, close to the register.

"Would you like some tea while you wait for _him_?" He chuckled, "Yes, I did read the topic." He walked into the back room; the clank of china was heard, meaning that he was pouring tea.

"Uh, BROOK. Yeah…" A light blush colored her cheeks, while she subconsciously fiddled with the trim of her skirt. "I'm just bored. And I don't get out very often. I'm lonely…"

"I know darling. You need to stop hiding behind your collecting. Don't you meet people at tournaments?" he asked, handing her the teacup and saucer. Lightly he petted her, and smiled.

"Kinda, but those people are so full of themselves. It's ridiculous, and I hate it. Those men are not worth talking to."

"No one of your interest? That's no good."

"Well, there was this one guy one time. He defeated everyone with such ease, and not once did I even hear him talk about himself. He was simply amazing. Though, he was totally breaking regulations by wearing a bandana."

"Didn't you talk to him?"

"No, but his name is Roro--." Tashigi's jaw dropped in realization. "Oh my god, it was him. The guy I met was _him_."

"Whom are you talking about?" Brook question, not sure what could be wrong.

"The guy I met in the shop yesterday, it was the guy from the tournament! I can't believe I didn't realize it at the time. He was such a jerk!" She set her tea down and crossed her arms in a pout. "I _never_ want to see him again."

The irony of the door chimes sounding made her jump. The man she just made a declaration against walked through the shop doors. He looked at Brook and smiled. "Hello there!" He nonchalantly greeted, a smirk on his lips.

"Why hello there yourself." He replied, he looked the peculiar man, and then looked at Tashigi, a look of pure horror on her face said everything. Brook mouthed 'him?', and she violently nodded.

Zoro looked at the opposite wall of Tashigi, and noticed the man wearing the baseball cap. "Kaku, you jerk, what are you doing here?" He smiled broadly.

"Why isn't it the lost man, Zoro? I think this is a record for you. Here in an hour and twenty minutes." The man in the hat joked, having finally revealed his face, which sported an abnormally long square nose.

Zoro punched him in the arm for his comment, and chuckled. "Well, I said I had to come."

His eyes scanned the shop, and the pinks and oranges of Tashigi's outfit caught his attention. She glared at him with no remorse at all, wishing that he would vanish.

"Well isn't it Shoi-san?" He grinned, delighted that he had gotten there in time to see her. "My aren't dressed adorably today."

Tashigi violently blushed at his comment. '_This can't be happening. This just can't be happening. All I wanted to do was meet _him.'

Zoro walked over to the counter and smiled at Brook. "So do you have any particularly interesting katanas?" Brook grinned at the man. He was very interesting indeed.

Tashigi suddenly eyed the blade at Zoro's hip. She new it, but from where? It suddenly clicked. Oh no.

"No, that can't be." She whispered. Zoro looked at her, noticing her eyes on his meitou.

"Darn, you realized before I could torture you any further. Cover blown."

"YOU'RE Ifightwith3!?" She hid her face in her hands, blushing immensely. Brook started laughing with glee at the discovery, loving the irony.

Zoro bent next to her, poking her side. "Aww, c'mon, you can't be that angry. I was only teasing you. I was going to tell you if I didn't make it here today."

Tashigi banged on his chest in frustration, but he was unaffected. "You jerk! I was so mad at you for getting that blade! I have the other two at home and everything!" She looked into his eyes that worried, yet bemused with her behavior. "And then you made that extra account! That scared me!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry for that. That was mean. But I couldn't resist it." He laughed.

"I guess I forgive you…seeing as I'm 'Iwantyourmeitou' on eBay." She grinned, a look disgust overcoming his face.

"You witch! You devil! I've ruined desk chairs over you!" He growled, looking away, meeting a bemused Brook and Kaku.

"You love birds…" Brook laughed. Kaku was making kissy face at them as they had been arguing.

Tashigi immediately leaned away from Zoro, embarrassed that they had been so close. He looked back at her, raising a brow at her action. "Don't mind the square nose freak, he's only been making fun of you since he made an account of the forum."

"That's the Squareman? I should have known, the evidence is so clear."

"Hey!" Kaku whined in mock protest of being made fun of. "What about the gay lover man in front of you. His roommate rapes him."

"Yeah, I know, isn't sad?" She laughed.

"Shut up. Just because I'm willing to please myself in whatever way possible is no reason to make fun of me." Zoro grumbled, standing up to glare at Kaku on an even field.

"Sure, it's plenty reason."

Zoro turned to Tashigi, "don't you go and agree with him. I've only done it a few times."

"Well, it was enough for him to beg you constantly. 'Zooroo, can't we do it tonight?' You're probably better with a man than a woman." Kaku mocked.

"Would you like to find out?" Zoro jested, Kaku's face paling immediately. "I kid man, Sanji is the only man pretty enough for me to sleep with. Even then, I'd choose a woman any day."

Zoro tilted his head slightly, something behind Kaku having caught his eye. He paced across the store, immediately grasping the dark blade. He drew it, enticed by its appearance.

"It's Shuusui, I can't believe that I'd find this here of all places." A grin replaced his shocked expression.

"Ah, so you are familiar with its history, I assume?" Brook asked, pleased to find someone with an interest in the blade.

"Of course! It belonged to the undefeatable Samurai. I've always hoped to come across it."

"Well it's for sale if you truly desire it."

"Sold." Zoro grinned, pulling out his wallet, and slapped it on the counter, placing the blade next to it. Tashigi stood up in curiosity, and lifted the blade to further examine it.

"Incredible, this weighs so much!"

"Really, I didn't notice." Zoro shrugged, having honestly not notice too much. Brook and Zoro finished their transaction, and grinned at each other.

"You truly picked a magnificent sword. You best take care of it."

"I will." Zoro started, "not that it will break or anything. It could take the weight of an elephant standing on it. Or so I've heard…" Zoro looked over at Tashigi who had finished her analysis of the blade. She held a sour expression, but she wasn't as frustrated as she looked when he receive the Kitetsu.

She looked up at him, slightly angry, but the fact that she was wearing a fruity pink and orange outfit made it very non-threatening.

"We should all go out for a drink." Kaku commented, catching Zoro's attention immediately.

"I'm in." Zoro looked over at the other two. "You in?"

"It wouldn't kill to close the shop, it's a Sunday." Brook commented, fiddling with the register. "Just let me close up, I can meet you there. The place down the street sells excellent sake."

"Sounds good."

"I'll come, not like I have anything better to do." Tashigi sighed. She half-heartedly smiled at Brook.

"That's the spirit darling, you need to get out more. Being in that apartment training all the time can't be good." Brook cheered, gripping her shoulder reassuringly.

"Right, right, of course." She turned to the boys, "I know the way there, you should closely tail my car incase you could get lost." She broadly smiled in cruelty as Zoro glared at her for such a comment.

"Har har har, very funny." Zoro grumbled, looking at the thoroughly amused Kaku. "Look what you have done Kaku, she's going to be making lost jokes forever now."

"Well, when it comes to you Zoro, there is a lot to make fun of." Kaku tailed Tashigi as she was leaving the shop, "would you like us to move on to gay jokes?"

"You do, you will get to taste the blades."

"Oh, so scary!" Tashigi giggled outside. Zoro took a long stride out to follow the others to get to the bar. He got in his car and started it, ready to follow them to their destination.

After only a short drive, they arrived a small restaurant like bar. Tashigi waited at the door for the other two, and then walked in. It was a pleasantly lit place, tables for two and booths for parties available. Petit woman approached them, and lead them to a booth for them. They ordered a round of warm sake while they waited for Brook to appear.

"Winter is fast approaching, don't you think?" Tashigi started conversation, tracing her fingertips on the rim of her choko. "I can't believe how cold I was this morning."

"Yeah, it has gotten a bit cold for late September, it's usually hot still." Kaku replied, sipping his sake.

"It's been nice." Zoro downed the contents of his choko, pouring another round.

Kaku leaned across the table, ignoring Zoro, "The only two things Zoro is any good at is swinging a sword and drinking sake." He laughed, accepting Zoro's punch.

"Kaku-san, surely that isn't the only things he's good at." Tashigi gawked at the square man's statement. She shifted in her seat, taking her cell phone out. "Brook got caught up with a customer, he isn't coming.

"Right, right, he can please gay men also." Kaku grinned at Tashigi, dodging Zoro's second attack.

"Kaku, stop spouting off nonsense." Zoro sat up straight in his seat, leaning his head on the wall. "Too bad I can't drink more, but being drunk and hopelessly lost doesn't sound appealing right now."

Kaku grunted at the comment recognizing that he also couldn't consume too much. He poured another round, and held his choko up. "Kanpai."

Zoro smirked, and copied his motion, "jeez you can be so dull, kanpai!"

Tashigi clinked her glass with theirs, "Kanpai! To meeting face-to-face."

"To collecting swords and fighting for them!"

"To exceeding the expectations of others."

Quickly they downed the chokos' contents. Quietly they sat the table enjoying the silence of their table and the idle chatter outside.

"Do you guys want to see my sword collection?" Tashigi suggested suddenly, her voice full of pride. "I live fairly close."

"Not me, I have relatives to see." Kaku informed, scooting out of the booth. "I should have been there thirty minutes ago. Course, I do have the excuse to say 'Zoro was lost'." He placed money on the table, and bowed to Tashigi. "Sayaonara Tashi-chan, talk to you later."

"Ja ne square."Zoro laughed, waving.

"Bye-bye Kaku-kun!" Tashigi got up from her seat and hugged him. "I hope I see you again."

"Ah, right!" Kaku dumbly replied, hugging her in return. He left momentarily, leaving Tashigi and Zoro to themselves.

She quickly turned around to face Zoro, "so, would you like to come over and see my collection?" She smiled at him while fiddling with her purse, pulling out her share of the expense.

"I guess, s'not like I want to head home yet. Damn cook." He got up from the table, throwing down a random bill on the table from his pocket. "Lets go."

He followed her out to the parking lot, waiting for her start her car before he got to his car.

He tailed her for ten minutes or so before they reached her apartment building. It was a plain white building, quite similar to the one he stayed in. He parked in the spot beside hers and got out, following her through the building.

"Uh, don't mind the mess. I'm rather piggish when I stay inside for too long." She opened the door, and much to his surprise, it was fairly clean. "Ah, Hina must have been by..."

An evident blue theme ran through the room, Japanese Marines trinkets and old feudal styled furniture furnished the living room.

Zoro suddenly felt a tugging on his wrist, "C'mon, I want to show you!" Tashigi urgently pulled childishly. Zoro couldn't do anything but follow along. He followed her down a small hallway, going through the only closed door.

A grin over came his expression as he took in the sight of all of the fine weaponry. There were not only Oowaza-mono, but blades from all over the world were in this one single room.

"Look, Shodai and Nidai" she said, reaching up to the blades on the wall. Zoro looked down noticing a Celtic blade at her feet, but what was most interesting about is what it was reflecting. He couldn't help but grin at viewing Tashigi's panties on the blade. He sighed, and forgot about it, helping her retrieve the blades.

He unsheathed and observed both blades while ignoring her grumbling of being able to take care of herself. He put the blades up and turned to Tashigi, whom was watching his meitou like a tigress stalking her prey.

"Do you really want this or something?" he indicated the blade, resting his hand on the hilt. He turned to the wall, listening to the silent drawing of Tashigi's blade.

He turned back around quickly to hear the collision of their blades. "If I wasn't paying attention, you might have been a murderer. Might."

"I knew you were," she simply responded, releasing the pressure she was applying. She listened to the clank of the wood and steel of his blade. "How am I interesting?"

"You'll have to figure that out yourself." He grinned, "You really shouldn't leave shiny polished swords on the ground. At least not while you're wearing a skirt."

Tashigi looked down immediately, noticing the reflection of her white with pink polka dots panties. "Pervert!" she yelled, while lunging forward at him to make an attempt to punch his face. He caught her fist, and pulled her into him. Tashigi struggled against him, keeping eye contact solely for the purpose of glaring. "Release me now." Tashigi commanded, realizing her own quickened breath.

Zoro immediately released his grasp on her. He gripped her chin roughly, looking into her eyes. He brought his lips close to hers, but left small space wanting to her to close the distance.

Her eyes widened as she felt her own breath hitch in her throat. Timidly she brushed her lips against his, her breath coming back to her in the small action. She stared back into his eyes, hardly noticing the removal of his hand from her chin. He leaned forward and applied more pressure. She languidly responded, overwhelmed by the situation.

'_I met this man online._' She started to think. '_Or was it yesterday?'_' She separated from him and stared. '_Years ago in kendo?'_'

"Zoro, how in the world did we meet?" She thought aloud, giving him something to think about.

"I don't exactly know. How about we acquaint ourselves right now?" He spoke coyly, absent-mindedly tracing his fingers at the hem of her skirt. He chuckled, expecting some form of violence.

She dumbly stood, slowly acknowledging his perverse comment. A smile crept its way on her lips, enjoying the thought of acquainting herself better with the man before her. Lazily she drew her fingers up his arms to meet at the nape of his neck.

"I like the idea of that."

She pulled him down to her level and kissed him aggressively. They felt a shiver come from each others bodies as their body heat interacted. Their lips found each other again like magnets from the arousing closeness. She moaned against mouth, letting his tongue assault her mouth. Zoro pressed her against the wall, friction consuming them as they grinded.

Tashigi suddenly found her hands frantically attempting to undue the buttons on the shirt between her hands and his body. In frustration, she tore buttons off, gaining a rather entertained expression from the wearer. "In a rush?"

"Hardly."

He licked his lips audioably, causing her to gulp. "Didn't think so." His fingers glided up her inner thigh, his thumb brushing against the fabric of her underwear. She sucked in a breath from the light touch. He repeatedly rub his thumb against the fabric, listening as her breath continued to lose its steadiness. He stopped the action abruptly, meeting her eyes. They were longing and demanding all at once.

He blindly carried her through the door of training room, pausing at each door in hope of finding a bed. After second attempt, Tashigi found herself breathless and laying on her bed.

A buzzing suddenly caught their attention. "Zoro, your phone." Tashigi spoke, in hope of gaining a breath or two.

He sighed, looking at the phone screen. '_Dumb cook.'_'

To: Marimo

From: Cook

--TEXT--

_Won't be home. Found quirky blonde._

"Good, about time."

"Good what?" She questioned, grinning at Zoro mischievously while tracing her finger on his inner thigh.

"Nothing." He dominantly hovered over her body, returning the grin. "Now, sexy swordswoman, would you like to see my sword?"


End file.
